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Monday, October 1, 2012

Awfully Dark...

Tuesday's Slice of Life...@ TwoWritingTeachers
Special thanks to Stacey and Ruth for Hosting this weekly writing community!

Walking ever to s l o w ly
                                                   d
                                                          o
                                                                w
                                                                       n
                                                                             t
                                                                                 h
                                                                                    e
                                                                                         s
                                                                                            t
                                                                                                e
                                                                                                    p
                                                                                                        s........
                                                                                                        how many are there?

Don't know
Haven't got my footing
Nothing is routine
Nothing is the norm
Nothing seems to be going how I thought it would

So I start again from the top every day
                                                   d
                                                         o
                                                                w
                                                                      n
                                                                             t
                                                                                 h
                                                                                      e
                                                                                          s
                                                                                              t
                                                                                                  e
                                                                                                      p
                                                                                                          s.......
                                                                                                            how many are there?
Feeling the steps now
Getting my footing
Some things are routine
Some things are the norm
Some things are finally going how I thought they would

So I start again from the top each day
                                                     d
                                                         o
                                                             w
                                                                  n
                                                                      t
                                                                         h
                                                                             e
                                                                                 s
                                                                                     t
                                                                                        e
                                                                                           p
                                                                                              s.......
                                                                                             not there yet, when will I learn?

It's awfully dark, I can't seem to find my way-I need a guiding light-I pray something goes my way!


Transitioning:  back to the classroom:

new building with a
new staff,
new routines,
new kiddos,
new rules,
new curriculum,
new databases,
new software,

new start times,
new morning routine,
new tick-tocking clock,

Transitioning:  child #1
new year,
new teachers,
new rules,
new ways of planning,
new ways of studying,

Transitioning:  child #2
new daycare,
new procedures,
new teachers,
new forms,
new friends,
new tot cot,
new cups,

have all made for one crazy start to the school year.  I feel like I am constantly going down the steps in the dark and I still don't know how many there are.  I feel like I can't see yet, I don't know the way...hoping and things get better each day.  And they are-
still skipping a step here and there, fumbling for the railing, needing support...

If there is someone new in your life this day, reach out and be their light-show them the way! 


28 comments:

  1. Such a great post - the "newness" of a new place can be made so much less daunting with a kind word and a helping hand now and then. Here's wishing that they come your way, Amy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tara,
      You are so right! The staff at my new school have been so wonderful to me...so have the new teachers at my daughter's daycare...
      We'll get this!

      Delete
  2. I will remember this post today, and lately I've been feeling this way also, of course, because of all the changes around me... mainly new principals. Yikes...I just want 'normal' back. xo

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    Replies
    1. Nanc,
      Hope things get better for you if you are feeling this way too! Hopefully the "feeling" of norm will return soon...

      Delete
  3. Beautifully communicated, that fumbling, wondering what challenge will hit next, Amy. I think we at school take special care of both new students & staff-parents are bewildered too, as you shared. Best to you too! And I love how you showed the feelings, stepping down, down.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Linda for your kind words and thoughts!

      Delete
  4. Adjusting to new routines and changes takes time. Sometimes we tend to forget that transitioning period and want everything to be the way it was. You have expressed it perfectly. I hope the light begins to burn brighter for you soon.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Elsie, you are right it all takes time-so along with light and guidance I am also praying for patience.
      Thanks!
      Amy

      Delete
  5. Love our post. I felt the darkness at the beginning of the year. There is a bit more light already. Things will get better each day.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Terje!
      I know you are right! Things will get better!

      Delete
  6. The beginning of anything new is always a challenge and puts us in the dark until we find our way, with the help of others. We all need that helping hand to get us going or we can be that helping hand to others. Thanks for the reminder that there are many people who we come in contact with on a daily basis who are in the dark. I hope and pray the your darkness becomes lighter and brighter each day.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Judy!
      You're right about all of us needing the helping hand of others at times! This is definitely a time for me!

      Delete
  7. I loved the visual format of your post. Rest assured, there is light at the end of the tunnel--and I don;t mean the end of the school year. One day at a time, right?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, one day at a time indeed! We are getting there!

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  8. What an analogy, Amy! So many scary things (the unknown, the new, the known - even), but a bit more light will seep in each day.

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    Replies
    1. Stacey,
      Yes, we are getting there! Friday was our best day of the year so far...praying we stay on the right path!

      Delete
  9. Wow! I love your writing. I felt a connection to many of your thoughts. After reading your post I don't feel so alone and you have given me inspiration because others are feeling the same way. I loved the line so I start again from the top of each day down the steps. Each day is a new start and we go through the process with the hope that the journey will get easier and most times we have a glimmer of hope that somethings are more comfortable than they were the day before and that is enough to keep us moving forward.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, moving forward indeed-I think it's getting better everyday-there is beginning to be more light!

      Delete
  10. You have certainly captured the complex emotions that go along with changing. Your observation that even "growing up" can be stressful is very important. I will make sure I try to be someone's light tomorrow.

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    Replies
    1. yes, just about every aspect of our home lives has gone through some sort of change over this fall-I think my hubby's job has been the only norm...good thing!

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  11. You have given me a different perspective. I usually think of my day as beginning at the bottom of the steps.

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    Replies
    1. I usually begin by going down-I guess that's why I thought of it this way!

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  12. How many steps are there? I will put new batteries in my flashlight to help light the way for myself, and a friend.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reminding me to get my flashlight working! Sometimes we need to trust ourselves more too!

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  13. I can almost see you feeling with your toes out in front as you navigate your day. I hope a little more light can venture in soon.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Betsy!
      This past week got better! The new gradebook system was still giving me fits though-we had interim pick-up Thursday night...got it figured out though...

      Delete
  14. What a great reminder. I have been so inwardly focused lately, focused on how much energy it is taking me to be the light for the new people around me. I have been ignoring the positivity that giving light fills me with. I have been almost resentful of the need to guide others because of the loss of a colleague to an administrative position. Your post is like taking a deep breath of fresh air. I needed this re-focus. I hope you are surrounded by more and more light as the year unfolds!

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    Replies
    1. Christy,
      The different perspective you bring to this post reminds me-I am used to being the light-as a coach-that is what I did-now I need the help of others! Thanks for reminding me why this feels sooo different! It's hard to be the light-but it's also hard to need it!

      Delete

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