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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Family's Day Together

Tuesday's Slice

The Family's Day Together

Family of four, together, happy as can be!
Making plans at first, deciding, how to spend our day,
Watching our children, seeing what they see!

Investigating, narrowing choices, wondering free or fee?
Certain we're leaving soon, almost on our way...
Family of four together! Happy as can be!

Making a final choice, going to see ChuckE,
Wondering with excitement! which silly games we'd play...
Watching our children, seeing what they see!

Driving then arriving, the "Cheddar Rat" we see!
Ordering pizza, wings, and salad now it's time to pay-
Family of four together happy as can be!

Dropping tokens in, winning tickets...one, two, three!
Knowing they were spending fast, how long would we stay?
Watching our children, seeing what they see!

Placing tickets in the pockets, trading for prizes with glee!
Smiling kids, sweet little faces, what a fabulous day!
Family of four together happy as can be!
Watching our children, seeing what they see!


**Dedicated to our children Kam and Nat, written after our journey to the "Cheddar Rat" also known as ChuckE Cheese!
**First try at the Villanelle?  Wow, it was a toughie...I wanted to tell the story of our day from start to finish...It was hard to choose wisely and get it all in...We had an excellent adventure!

6 comments:

  1. Way to tackle a tough format! You did see what the kids did see. Sounds like a great day and I picture smiles all around as I read this.

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    1. Yes, it was a great time together...just the 4 of us!

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  2. It's not easy when a structure/rule is given. I think you accomplished both following the structure and giving the feeling of the family day. I especially like the line - seeing what they see. I noticed that you sneaked the word "pockets" in.

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    1. Terje,
      It was really hard with structure. I think this is the kind of stuff that turns people off to poetry-rule and structure...some forms are easier than others.
      Yep, had to sneak in something about pockets-funny thing is, I did find more tickets in my pockets later in the evening! It really made me laugh!

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  3. I admire your efforts here, Wow! A villanelle and using pockets. Sometimes using a form and rules can confine and control in a way that I strongly resist. Here you embraced it. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Margaret,
      Thanks, it was hard...I really didn't like the form of it...It made me think of how we sometimes make students write to a certain form. It takes a lot of practice and revision to get it right...

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